Not “end of a long week” tired, more like carrying too much for too long tired.
Some of it is work.
Some of it is what’s happening in the world, the violence, the injustice, the constant stream of horror so many of us have witnessed for two years straight. You can try to function as normal, but it affects you in more ways than you realise. You feel it in your chest, in your sleep, in the way you go through the day.
And then inside organisations, things are constantly shifting, restructuring, new bosses, less clarity, more pressure.
It’s a lot for anyone, let alone people who naturally support everyone else.
What I keep hearing from leaders is something like:
“I’m doing my best to keep things going and support my team, but I can hardly sit still and care for myself.”
And honestly?
That hits.
Because I remember that feeling so well.
The part we don’t talk about much
When you’re the one people rely on, the calm one, the capable one, the one who “has perspective”, you can go for months without anyone actually checking how you are.
You don’t get the same reassurance you give away.
Not because people don’t care, but because everyone assumes you’re fine.
And this is the part that stings:
you start wishing someone would notice you.
Not to applaud you.
Just to see you.
This is where the trouble starts
When you lead from a place of wanting validation, even a tiny bit, your decision-making gets murky.
You say yes when you don’t want to.
You stay quiet when you should speak.
You take on extra tasks “because it’s easier if I just do it.”
You hold space for everyone else while you’re running on fumes.
And underneath all of that?
A slow burn of resentment.
Not loud.
Not dramatic.
Just… there.
And it wears you down.
So what do you do when you feel unseen?
Here’s what I’ve learned, through experience, frustration, and a few very honest conversations with myself:
1. Check the real reason behind your yes
Sometimes I catch myself thinking:
“Do I actually want to do this… or do I want them to think I’m helpful?”
That question is a game-changer.
2. Don’t wait for the right moment to be human
Say one honest sentence a week. Just one.
Something simple like:
“This has been a heavy few days for me.”
No speech.
No over-sharing.
Just honesty.
It breaks the spell of pretending.
3. Give yourself the validation you wish someone else would give you
Write down three things that only you know you held together this week.
(You’ll be surprised how much it matters.)
It’s not ego.
It’s grounding.
Responses