What happens when "being the reliable one" becomes part of the system?
Not just something you do, but something others have come to expect.
You didn’t choose that role outright.
But maybe, over time, it became part of who you are.
The steady one. The helper. The person who absorbs what no one else wants to deal with.
And even when it’s too much, it can feel hard to let go.
Because somewhere along the way, being reliable became not just what you offer, but who you are.
Let's call this what it is: power fatigue
Not just tiredness.
But the quiet toll of holding what the system won’t name.
In systemic coaching, we don’t just look at individual burnout.
We get curious about the roles, dynamics, and expectations that have formed around someone who “always comes through.”
Sometimes, the system doesn't shift because it's learned that you will
And when that goes unspoken, your reliability becomes the glue holding together things that may need to fall apart, or be rebuilt differently.
I’ve been there myself.
I prided myself on being reliable. Calm under pressure. The one who always showed up. And over time, I expected that of myself too. It felt like a strength. It was.
But what I didn't see, until later was how my reliability had quietly become a way to keep things together on my terms.
It gave me a sense of control, but it left less space for others to step in, grow, or offer something different.
When I decided to step back, even slightly, it wasn't chaos that followed. It was clarity. And from that clarity a different kind of leadership emerged, one that shared the load, invited others in, and trusted the system to hold itself. It required an intentional review of what I was doing and where I could and wanted to step back.
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